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Earmarks of a Co-Dependent Relationship

 
  • Feeling owed. I'm going to stay in here and get mine because that person owes me after all that I have done for that person.
  • We select improbable partners.
  • We get arrogant about the relationship.
  • Experience an intensified exaggeration in relationships. Being obsessed with the other person and expecting the same level of feeling in return. "Do you think of me as much as I think of you?"
  • Little spontaneous playfulness.
  • Too many fixed requirements and objectives to the relationship.
  • Lose individual differences or don't value those differences.
  • Shortage of time for the relationship, or there is too much time for the relationship.
  • Lack of conflict resolution; never seem to resolve things.
  • A lot of self-control and censured feelings, get careful about who you are and what you say. Don't share feelings and vulnerability.
  • Fear of exploring different things in our life. Lack of experimentation.
  • One or both have a myth of their own perfection or the other's perfection.
  • Sense of being one-down or one-up in the relationship.
  • No-talk rules, talk less and less about what is going on in your life.
  • The belief that the other person defines who you are.
  • Cautious about making commitment in the relationship or you regret the commitment that you have made.
  • Become preoccupied with the other person.
  • That you have energy swings, like fits of fitness and energy, and then periods of exhaustion when you are wiped out, even to the point of illness or emotional depression.
  • That the relationship is tumultuous, chaotic.
  • Sacrifice outside things for the relationship.
  • Use substitutes to avoid intimacy (drugs, sex, food, etc.).
  • Do nurturing and caretaking instead of shared intimacy.
 

Author unknown. Contributed by MissXena.