Feeling owed. I'm going to stay in here and get mine because that person owes me after all that I have done for that person.
We select improbable partners.
We get arrogant about the relationship.
Experience an intensified exaggeration in relationships. Being obsessed with the other person and expecting the same level of feeling in return. "Do you think of me as much as I think of you?"
Little spontaneous playfulness.
Too many fixed requirements and objectives to the relationship.
Lose individual differences or don't value those differences.
Shortage of time for the relationship, or there is too much time for the relationship.
Lack of conflict resolution; never seem to resolve things.
A lot of self-control and censured feelings, get careful about who you are and what you say. Don't share feelings and vulnerability.
Fear of exploring different things in our life. Lack of experimentation.
One or both have a myth of their own perfection or the other's perfection.
Sense of being one-down or one-up in the relationship.
No-talk rules, talk less and less about what is going on in your life.
The belief that the other person defines who you are.
Cautious about making commitment in the relationship or you regret the commitment that you have made.
Become preoccupied with the other person.
That you have energy swings, like fits of fitness and energy, and then periods of exhaustion when you are wiped out, even to the point of illness or emotional depression.
That the relationship is tumultuous, chaotic.
Sacrifice outside things for the relationship.
Use substitutes to avoid intimacy (drugs, sex, food, etc.).
Do nurturing and caretaking instead of shared intimacy.